Some days I just want to really have a proper breakdown. But I just can't. No matter how hard I try and that just leaves me feeling exasperated. 

Tried to learn how people talk to one another and im failing so terribly. Im an advancement that actually led to a regression. 

Suddenly, you don't look at people as a friend/boy/girl anymore because in the end, whatever title you give isn't important. You look at their souls, and you determine their place to you with unexplainable dynamic rankings. 

But really, 

This whole existence. To discover and experience things so hideous all for a chance to love and be loved. 

I need to get over my inability to love and accept love. 

No. I don't make sense and I don't flow. In need of sails now to catch the winds. 

It only struck me recently how much of myself I've lost. So much I don't even know what to do.