I know that this isn't right. Siying has reminded me before. But I can't do anything about it because I don't have the motivation to pick up and throw myself into participating. 

I tried. University has just started and I've made a number of friends. Sometimes I don't know if I'm interacting because I genuinely want to, or because I'm trying to save myself. Desperately. 

I don't even know how it all started. When I realise how bad this is, it's already too late. 

I lost interest in everything. 

No longer interested to make memories. No longer interested to take photographs of people I hang out with. 

No longer interested to go one step further beyond being acquaintances with people. 

For a period of time I guess I lost interest in updating myself with music even. 

Apparently, I cannot heal myself by just deciding that I'm going to be healed in the spur of the moment. It worked for like what 2 months? But it's all coming back again. 

I will not depend on someone else to heal me because the person I need most and love the most is ultimately myself. 

Here's to me finding me (back). 

And just watch my life pass me by.